Becoming a Parent

Some people say, “there is no guide book to parenting” so you have to make it up as you go along. I say it’s just the opposite. There are plenty of expert guide books on every topic imaginable. Each book suggests a different approach to parenting. My advice? Gather information where you please and make the best decisions for your family as a family. 

What I mean is pick the “experts” that will help you learn more about a specific topic. Seek out your mom, your friend, your partner, the book written by an expert in the field, a scientific study, your family doctor. All of these people will create for you a pool of information, sometimes conflicting, sometimes redundant. It is then up to you and your family to make sense of it and make a decision. For some families, it will mean picking a particular birthing location. For others, it will mean saying yes or no to cry-it-out sleep training. In any regard, it is important to make decisions as parents - together. ​

Examples of the FIRST decisions to be made as parents:

1. Where to give birth?  In Toronto, ON, most women have the option of giving birth at a hospital, at home or at the Toronto Birth Centre. These options depend on mama and baby's health, health care provider, and proximity to the facility. There is a list of pros and cons to each of these locations and those are different for every mother and every birth. 
2. Will mama want an epidural or other medications/intervention/treatments during labour? Any type of medication or intervention during labour will have varying effects. A healthcare provider will provide information on many of these options as part of prenatal care. A doula or childbirth educator can supplement more information. Of course any information that doulas and childbirth educators are providing should be unbiased, and up-to-date information relative to mama's situation. 
3. Will mama want to breastfeed or bottle feed? This is a personal choice, and sometimes it isn't a choice as a mother has a medical reason for being unable to breastfeed. Now, there are many many reasons why breastfeeding is beneficial, and touted as the healthier choice. However, I believe fed is best. Society needs to stop judging mamas for their choices. So, as long as the baby is thriving, that baby will be off to a good start in life. 
4. Cloth diapers or disposable? Nowadays everything is "eco" this and "green" and parents feel guilted into creating a "green" environment for baby. There are plenty of reasons for cloth diapering (and green living), just as there are plenty of reasons to use disposable. A baby whose daycare does not accept cloth diapers has a pretty valid reason for going disposable. Conversely, a parent who stays at home and who has access to a washing machine and the time, may choose cloth. (Post to come on cloth diapering)
5. To hire a doula or go it alone? There are so many reasons why hiring a doula is beneficial. Check out the FAQ section, or ask Alynn the Doula more questions about it. Basically, having a doula is having a hand to hold and a caring expert in your corner during one of a parent's most significant life events. 

All of these parenting decisions (and many more to come) are difficult and require lots of consideration.
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As a doula, I facilitate these first parenting decisions by offering tools & education. 

My job is to create a situation where parents gain the confidence to make their own decisions. I educate and guide them through the process of labour so that their first parenting decisions can be supported wholeheartedly. It is important that parents learn to create open lines of communication early on so that when tougher parenting decisions arise, they are prepared.

Ask me any questions that you might have about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting and I will be sure to find you some information. ​